you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
