there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
