I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
