Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
