At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
