it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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