my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My cat gives me a boner
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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