he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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