At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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