Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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