In the future we'll all be gay
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
