Heybabeimwearingurpanties
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
