respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
