was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Small penises have feelings too.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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