he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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