if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
