If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
only you would photoshop your dick
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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