i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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