Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
