I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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