Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
