I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
