we're blogging at a bar
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
