is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize