he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
