I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
