worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
