dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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