whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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