Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
