I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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