It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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