so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
