shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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