she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
40s are totally the cure
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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