four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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