if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
