Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
