I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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