Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
