It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i dont even know how to be here
this will be a night to untag.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize