you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
