shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
