This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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