the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize