ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
