Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
