The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
what the fuck happened to the tacos
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
