If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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