Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
