i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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