So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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