Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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