I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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