Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
