he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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