If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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