I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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