you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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