doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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